| So here we are again. Christmas time. Sleigh bells ring, | | | | mantelpiece. You can find all sorts of things, from |
| ring, a-ring-a-ling. Time to try and show people you | | | | staplers with plastic replica sushi on the top (Why on |
| know at least something about them by choosing a | | | | Earth would you want one of those?) to doggie doo |
| gift that somehow reflects their personality, right? | | | | Christmas ornaments for the tree. And what else is |
| Everyone has probably experienced the cold chill of | | | | there? Oh, did you know you can buy a star? Yeah, |
| getting the name of that guy in Marketing who has | | | | really. You can. Buy someone a star this Christmas. |
| everything and seems to know everything about | | | | Why, I'm not sure... |
| everything in the office "Secret Santa" lucky dip. What | | | | Or, even better, buy your pet a tree! Yes, really. You |
| are you going to get for your 10 bucks? Ahhhh! Brain | | | | can do that too, if you're mad enough. |
| meltdown. And everyone has had those night before | | | | Or you can "adopt a reindeer". Okay, they don't bring |
| Christmas nightmares about receiving yet another | | | | the reindeer to your house. It's more like "sponsoring a |
| socks'n'undies set. Or the standby of aunties and | | | | reindeer", but you get all sorts of cool info about where |
| uncles for decades now: soap on a rope. | | | | it lives and... um... what it does and... uh... y'know, other |
| Utterly ridiculous stuff. | | | | reindeer stuff. Again, I can't imagine why you'd want to |
| Or so you thought... | | | | do this. But if you really want to, you can. |
| That's because the impersonal auntie and uncle style | | | | You can wear earrings with cats in Santa hats on |
| gifts don't actually fall into the truly ridiculous category | | | | them. You can get your very own bundle of hilarity in |
| at all. They just fall into the "downright lame" category. | | | | the form of a "Pull my finger Santa". Uh-huh. You can |
| Pathetic gifts from people with no imagination or who | | | | take part in a "rally" on one of those silly-looking |
| hardly know you from, well, a bar of soap. | | | | Segway things. Or play paintball. In tanks. |
| But what about the TRULY ridiculous, huh? What | | | | So when you get that guy from Marketing in this |
| comes up trumps there, then? | | | | year's "Secret Santa", don't worry; there is, in fact, an |
| The area of "pets" seems to do pretty well, actually. | | | | absolute ocean of stupidity out there that you can tap |
| Both gifts for pet-lovers and gifts for their actual pets. | | | | into. |
| Yes, it turns out that some people buy Christmas gifts | | | | And the most incredible part of all this ridiculousness? |
| for the pets. And just wait until you see the sorts of | | | | People seem to like it. |
| things I'm talking about! | | | | Go figure. |
| Another area that seems to have no shortage of | | | | And have a lovely festive season, ridiculousness or |
| ridiculousness is "stocking stuffers", the little gifts that | | | | not! |
| you can fit inside a stocking hanging over the | | | | |